I come across these questions a lot. Why do I climb? Why do I take my motorcycle and just ride? Why do I do those things which with the norm of the society will not abide?
I climb, challenging myself to see those views that even my maximum heart rate cannot defeat the adrenaline I get. I ride, leaning my motorcycle to a point that I forget the difference between me and her and occasional pillion. I take extravagant pleasure in being alive when I’m jumping off a cliff and diving into the waters and feel the time slowing down like falling into the black hole endlessly.
And every other uncountable thing like these teaches you to take that leap of faith. You are not supposed to calculate every outcome. You can not, not in the finite amount of time that you think you have, you cannot possibly process the infinite amount of possibilities.
Often you might have heard me saying if you’ve ever trekked or travelled with me; Accept yourself, don’t try foolishly to get what others possess and you don’t, don’t whine you were not born with a silver spoon, believe in yourself, even if the odds are against you. You just need to ignite that tiny little spark within. It’ll soon catch fire. It’s not about lighting the fire anywhere else, it’s about lighting the fire within.
Not knowing might seem illogically terrifying at first but don’t forget that there are things you can never know, cannot predict. Like we can not see what’s beyond the observable universe. Tinier already, we are getting tinier as it is constantly expanding and even at the speed of light, it’s awareness won’t reach us.
Change your approach. You can’t count till infinity but you can become one. Like the energy, like everything that flows around the universe. Stop asking wrong questions. How much? How many? How big? Till when? Feel apathy for that “Why” and “How”. In the race against each other to achieve bigger and bigger, we forgot that we can go infinitely smaller as well.
You are infinite. You don’t have to live longer. Longer is just a relative term. You are already forever. Unless you try to count it in years.
Only counting the naturals, you’ll soon run out of numbers at 80 or 90. Learn there is much more to life than those integers in the bank. Think of the fractions, think of all that creations and imaginations, fill your nights with your dreams making up the quota for the complex ” i “, and there’s no harm in daydreaming as well.
I have a bunch of those moments in my pocket. Like when I’m standing on top of a summit I’m infinite, when I’m jumping off a cliff or when I’m kissing a girl by the sound of a river, I’m infinite. The gravity of those moments that I experience is so bigger that each of my moment is a lifetime. And don’t be just limited to the positive numbers and reach Aleph-null. Go wild, go crazy. I’ve encountered so many of those that I lost count and hence the set might be as big as א1.
So fear nothing and live as many lifetimes as you can. Doesn’t matter whether you’re 25 or 52, the beautiful thing about infinity is, even if we take out all the odd numbers from the sum of all the numbers, the sum is same as it would’ve been with all the numbers.